previous  |  main  |  index  |  next
June 22, 2003

spunky and the swagger boys

The C-PAP was added to my second and final sleep study.  Imagining myself as Frank Booth, Dennis Hopper's character in Blue Velvet, didn't help me sleep.  So I lay awake for nine hours proving once and for all that I sleep better without electrodes, wires, and straps attached to my body than I do with them.  So when at dawn my technician, Dawn, asked me if I was ready to go, I pointed my electroded middle-finger at the sleep-cam and nodded.  Vigorously.

It was dark and raining when I left the Sleep Disorder Clinic, my hair matted with electrode contact gel as though I had finished shooting a scene from a gay porno movie.  I imagined myself being pulled over for speeding.

"Why no, officer.  You did not 'catch' my debut in No Sleep For Spunky."

I made it home without incident and brewed a pot of coffee.  I sat at the picture window and sipped coffee while I watched the storm lash the park behind me.  It was getting as light outside as it was going to get all day when I spotted three shirtless men running clockwise on the jogging path.  They were wet and muscled and yucking it up, a Preen-a-Thon of sorts.  Look at us!  We are the young and sopping restless.  And we run while huffing and puffing dick-and-pussy jokes!

Another cup of coffee, crackling, unexpected thunder, and the joggers jumped in unison.  I blew across the surface of my coffee and smiled the smile of an unseen witness to a de-preening.  The runners veered from the path and cut across the park on a shortcut to nowhere.

I took another sip.  Run, you Swagger Boys. run.

©  2003 by the beastmaster